Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011

Posted on October 5, 2011 by

Sad day for his family first and the rest of the world next.

Steve Jobs saw things differently. I will remember Steve Jobs as a visionary and modern-day da Vinci, a man who could predict (or coerce) what the public wanted, a man who pioneered the concept of combining practicality and performance with elegance and style. He made products I use daily which make me want to be more productive and more creative. He pushed the competition to be better.

I had just watched the video of Steve Jobs presenting the WWDC 2011 Keynote the other day. He looked frail, and I had commented on that fact to a friend at the time. I guess it was a bit prophetic…

Grabbed this screenshot from www.apple.com

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Internet tethering workout session?

Posted on October 2, 2011 by

When connected to Facebook with my MacBookPro in Saint John, New Brunswick via iPhone tethering (through Telus), my active session identifies as originating in Calgary, Alberta… That’s funny!

I can just imagine all those electrons screaming across the fibre over NB, Quebec, Ontario, and the prairies into Alberta, only to come screaming back across Alberta, the prairies, Ontario, Quebec and NB to display my Facebook pages… They must get awfully tired! 🙂

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(Picture screen captured from Google Maps)

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Awesome Einstein #quote

Posted on October 1, 2011 by

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

– Albert Einstein

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The Ultimate Poker Player

Posted on September 28, 2011 by

I received this in an email from a friend…

***

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob’s wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob’s wife followed and asked, ‘Did you see anything that you like under there?’ Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, ‘Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500. ‘After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob’s house at 2 p.m. sharp – and after paying Sue the sum of $500 – they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: ‘Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?’

With a lump in her throat Sue answered ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, ‘And did he give you $500?’

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, ‘Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.’

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, ‘He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.’

Now THAT, my friends, is a stud poker player!

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Antimatter Found Orbiting Earth—The next health or weight loss product?!? ;-)

Posted on August 11, 2011 by

Antimatter Found Orbiting Earth—A First.

Now how long do you think it will be before some entrepreneurial snake oil salesman will offer an elixir of antiprotons, call it aromatherapy or ‘Anti-Herbal Magic’, and sell it to unsuspecting people as some crazy concoction to provide good health or as a weight loss product?!? 😉

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Rational thinking… #evolution #science #joke

Posted on July 12, 2011 by

Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other.

Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: a Bible and a copy of Charles Darwin‘s On the Origin of Species.

Curious, he asks the chimp, “What’s with the books?”

The chimp replies, “I’m trying to decide whether I’m my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

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Essential Vocabulary for every cubicle dweller

Posted on May 13, 2011 by

Borrowed from Cubicle Jock.

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10.SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11.XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

12.IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

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A Diet Coke, handled gingerly…

Posted on May 11, 2011 by

Put money into machine, pushed ‘Diet Coke‘ button, and a Canada Dry dropped.

Huh?

So, I cussed a bit, grumbled a bit more, but eventually opened it and took a drink. At that point I realized it has been a long time since I have had a drink of ginger ale and it was a refreshing change.

Sometimes, it’s the little surprises that make a day! 🙂

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Toronto Star endorses the NDP #elxn41

Posted on April 30, 2011 by

Toronto Star endorses the NDP

While I prefer – and vote – a more centrist government approach (read Liberal), I have to agree with this opinion that the Liberal party have not been able to connect with voters *again* this time around. There are reservations across the country about their internal workings and a general belief they haven’t finished “cleaning house”. This has worried me throughout this election, because in my mind, Stephen Harper was a lame duck Prime Minister and his Conservative government should have easily been knocked out of power. But the Liberals just weren’t doing it.

Given that scenario, and despite the fact it does not change my voting decision in this election (the NDP has no chance of unseating the local Conservative MP, only the Liberal candidate has a shot), I can’t say I am upset by another, viable federal alternative to the right-wing leadership that has been marauding and vivisecting Canada from the PMO for the past 5 years. This may even be the catalyst needed to finally convince the old-boy network in the Liberal party to talk with the NDP about a formal merger of the two parties, much like the decimation and vote-splitting of the right forced the Progressive Conservatives to merge and become the Conservative Reform/Alliance Party (with an acronym like ‘CRAP’, you can see why they just went with ‘Conservative‘…). A resulting Liberal/NDP merged party should lie somewhere around the political spectrum of the Liberal Democrats of the UK. Still a little too left-wing for me, but definitely more palatable than a right-wing party.

As a former idealist (read NDP supporter), I honestly never thought I would see the day the NDP would be anything other than the ‘other’ party – albeit the ‘other party’ that had all the great ideas that have given Canada most of its best policies – and a great conscience while holding the balance of power in minority governments… In truth, they are a bit too idealistic for me and very naive, but some time with actual responsibility in Ottawa – potentially as the official opposition – instead of blind promises will likely temper that quickly.

At the start of this election, I predicted a Conservative minority, with the subsequent eviction of the three main party leaders, and possibly even Duceppe. I believe that would finally give Canada fresh, new faces at the helm. But Jack Layton’s surge seems likely to cement him in position for a while yet. I stand by my predictions on Harper and Ignatieff getting axed in the event of a Conservative minority, and I now add a more confident prediction that Duceppe will definitely get dumped after this election.

If this actually translates into votes on Monday – and not cause vote-splitting that hands Stephen Harper a majority – this election could indeed be historic. Another bonus? A federal surge for the NDP might also finally convince them that after 50 years, they no longer need the ‘New’ in their party name… 🙂

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