Biker Musings

Posted on April 11, 2006 by

With a sudden reduction in manpower of members like we just had in Ontario, does that mean the number who can claim to be part of the infamous “1 percenters” are now down to less than a percentage point? Maybe they are now statistically “zero point nine nine five percenters”… Try getting a tailor to do a crest with that on it for a leather vest…

And did you ever wonder what “biker heaven” might be like? If there is any justice in the world, it would be somewhere ex-”1 percenters” would have to go and sit around, swill sour milk, cup their hand over their ear and say “EH?” because of all the time they spent sitting on bikes with obnoxiously loud mufflers! Add a little Zamfir as background music and someone named “Biff” wearing Martha's Vinyard-style sailing attire as their host just to drive them more insane than they already are…

The police are saying that the killings were entirely internal and that their arch-rivals, the Hells Angels, had nothing to do with it. That is great news for the Hells Angels. A dream come true! In the corporate world, that would be akin to the kitchen staff at Burger King(tm) going crazy and whacking all its counter staff, leaving McDonalds(tm) to run the burger world…

Of course, the police may be on the wrong trail altogether. Maybe, with the skyrocketing value of those gawdawful machines because of all the yuppy lawyers and doctors going through mid-life crisis buying them up, the killings were simply a way for an anxious owner to move ahead on the waiting list for a new Harley… It could happen! I have read novels with less complicated plotlines for murder… No doubt there will be a book about it, which will become a major motion picture… then I can sue them for stealing my idea! Remember, when someone writes the story “Eight Down, More to Go”, I wrote the idea here first!

I am going to keep an eye on eBay and see if I notice any used Harleys from the London, ON area being auctioned off anytime soon…

Everyone else wonders about these kinds of things too, don't they?…

P.S. To all my friends who own bike(s), I didn't mean your bike(s) when I called them “gawdawful machines”, I meant all the other ones… -)

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